IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! (14/16)

I'm officially 26. I headed to the gym last night. Got on the elliptical for 20 minutes and the treadmill for 10. I was not in the best mood last night. The thought of how long and hard this journey is going to be is so stressful. BUT, I also realized last night that if I don't do something then it will only get worse. There are mirrors on all the walls in the gym, and I had to see the most horrible angle of myself while on the elliptical ... that sort of sideways/diagonal view ... not flattering. It's just so frustrating that I'm bigger than I've ever been in my life, and I don't need Mr. Mirror reminding me how far I have to go. I did put a sticker on my calendar to congratulate myself for going. That helps some...having a visual representation of what you have done...with preschool stickers...hehe. I'm going to try to go to the grocery store tomorrow, so we avoid eating out on New Year's day. I've made a list of good things to eat. I'm still stumped on what to do for snacks because I know I won't eat carrots if I buy them, and I know I probably shouldn't eat a ton of fruit since it's so sugary. GO AWAY BELLY!

New Year, New Me (size 14/16)

I feel like all I ever do is TALK about losing weight. Jamie and I are NOT moving, and we did NOT get back on track with our food after Thanksgiving. I've only eaten more and gained more. My work pants are sooooooo TIGHT!! I've once again resolved to lose weight for my annual beach trip. The trip usually falls somewhere in May, so that gives me 5-ish months to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING...I'm on my own now...nobody is going to help me...Jamie only helps me GAIN weight. I hate to set myself up for failure, so I'm just going to hope that is not the case. I originally thought that I would try to lose 10 pounds a month, but I don't know how realistic that is. My short term goal is to be down a pants size by February. I don't weigh myself, so I think I'll start posting my current size in the title of each blog. Tomorrow is my birthday, so I DO plan on having a slab-o-cake. January 1st is THE day!!! No more excuses!!! Weight is something that is totally within my control, but I seem to have the hardest time grasping it. I've already given up sodas. I haven't had one in about 20 days, so I think the urge has all but left. My next major goal as far as beverages are concerned is to switch from Sweet Tea to Unsweet Tea with Splenda. My exercise plan right now is to just do SOMETHING, ANYTHING!!! My ideas on food are just to eliminated extra sugar and processed junk. Right now my grocery list inclueds oatmeal, fruit, salad, whole grain bread, turkey, and whatever else I need to keep around to stay sane. SO...here goes nothing...AGAIN!

WANTED: Will Power

Well, I was going strong with the exercise with Sarah until I came down with a cold and missed 2 days of work. Then, as soon as I was well, she had 4 art shows in 1 week. AND this week I am getting sick AGAIN. I swear I've had no immune system since I've moved to Atlanta in 2006. The food still hasn't gotten on track because Jamie and I keep putting it off. We are waiting to see if we are going to move or not. We still haven't gotten an answer on that, and we seem to be getting more and more lazy, depressed and lethargic. I'm so beyond frustrated. The only thing I seem to be consistant at is failure. I'm such a Negative Nancy...bah humbug... Anyway, ONCE AGAIN, I told Jamie that our diet is going to drastically change once we get back from Thanksgiving. I'm also going to have to try to wean myself off soda again. Why are all the tasty things so BAD for you...whyyyyyyy?!?! Grrg! Let's just hope that we get some news soon, so I can get settled into a new place and get on a new routine. One of the youtube people I watch has been on a raw food diet for 18 days and has lost 18 pounds...That may be too extreme for me. Can someone just donate some WILL POWER to me??? HELP!

Changes

Well, the Crossfit gym is no more...There just became too many issues there, and I wasn't happy anymore. So, to celebrate I did nothing for about a month and managed to gain 10 more pounds. Congratulations Jen...you are great at getting fatter!! GRRR! I'm just so frustrated!! Anyway, I'm finally trying to get back on track on my own...just eating better and doing my own exercise. Eating right seems to be the hardest factor to adjust. We go out to eat anywhere from 2 to 10 times a week...I can't even imagine how many extra calories that adds...we NEED to get the food thing right...but we seem to both be junk food junkies...Anyway, I think I may start bringing my own lunch next week. That should save calories and money. Dinner is a different story...I still don't know what to do about that...maybe stop being a lazy bum in the evenings....going to the gym again this week with Sarah...One good habit at a time I guess. Next week we'll tackle food for the umpteenth time in my life... SIGH! I read that I'm supposed to stay positive while trying to lose weight...HOW THE HECK DO YOU DO THAT?!?!? Bah humbug, I say!

OH...MY...GAH!

My ab muscles have never been so sore...I'd love to be stretched out on the couch right now instead of sitting at my desk at work. OH THE PAIN...THE HORROR... We did ALOT of ab stuff this week...Wednesday was 150 situps among other things...then yesterday was 75 Wallballs, 50 Knees to Elbow, and a 1000 meter row. Everything was doubly hard yesterday cuz my muscles were SO sore from Wednesday. We will probably go today since we are trying to do 3 days on and 1 day off, but I dont know how well its gonna go...OUCH! With all this pain you'd think I wouldve dropped some weight by now...oh well...we must muscle on...