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On Monday of this week I started on a ketogenic diet for the second or third time in my life.  Clearly, I was doing it wrong before ... In the past I was not as diligent about keeping my carbs around 20, and I was probably eating the wrong things.  It's been a rough week with my body adjusting. Lots of tummy troubles (TMI?) I weighed in this morning and have dropped 6 of my 15 holiday pounds ... 9 to go! Well, 9 to get back to where I was before I started stuffing my face at the end of last year.

My goal weight has always been 140, but I got to the low to mid 150's and got reaaaaaaaally comfortable. TOO COMFORTABLE! So comfortable that I started not caring about what I was eating and packed on the poundage.

Anyway, I figured I'd give keto a go once again since I have a beach trip coming up at the end of the month. I had almost resolved to just go out, purchase a one piece swimsuit, and just call it a day. EEK! I'm not sure if this will be a long term eating plan, but it falls into place with the low carb/low sugar thing I've been doing from the beginning. The carbs are waaaaay lower than what I was doing before though. My morning oatmeal is out the window AND my large Dunkin iced coffees with two pumps of mocha ... sigh. I stopped by and got a large iced coffee with JUST cream this morning ... not the same animal AT ALL!

I will say that with the keto way of eating it has been difficult for me thus far to figure out a good balance of macros. Your supposed to drastically limit carbs ... check ... and increase fat ... check ... My problem has been getting enough calories. Everyday this week I've been between 900 - 1100 calories a day. I'm aware that is TOO LOW, but I'm still trying to figure out WHAT to eat. My meals have looked like this:

Breakfast - Ham & Cheese Omelet
Snack - Half an avocado
Lunch - Baby spinach salad with a side of homemade egg salad
Snack - Cheese stick (which I actually cut out yesterday because I thought it was causing some "issues")
Dinner - Shrimp & Zucchini

We shall see how well I stick to it this go 'round. I'm trying! I think watching carbs and sugar are key anyway!

I've been slowly working my way back into exercising. I wrote a post last year where I poopooed on a friend's advice to stop jogging and to utilize the keto diet. Now, I have stopped jogging and am on the keto diet. OH, HOW THE WORM HAS TURNED! Clearly, I don't ALWAYS know what's best. Jogging became too difficult for me to maintain with all the crazy schedule issues anyway. We just purchased a stationary bike, so I'll be doing that OR walking AND working on my body weight exercises like pushups, pullups, body weight rows, and more. I feel like I'm my own scientific experiment. Trial and error, trial and error.

The Danger of Holding Patterns

Well, it finally happened. I gained weight.
I got comfortable.
I got too busy.
I got lazy.
I got chubby.

Let's rewind. Last year (2015) I stopped running 5K's. I think the jogging officially stopped at the beginning of December 2014. I remember going for a good jog on our local river walk with one of my best friends, and then, I came down with some crud that went on and on and on. It's hard to workout when you're chronically sick. I was out of the gym and not jogging for more than a month, and I never could get that switch fully turned back on.

I had been so proud of my ability to jog three miles and to complete these 5K's; it was upsetting to essentially lose the ability. I know if I did it once that I should be able to do it again, but then, life happens. At the beginning of summer, my husband changed jobs AND schedules. The mornings were no longer free for me to get up and go jog. THEN, Tyler started school in August, and things got even tougher.

I know a lot of mom's do what I do, but this is MY life and this is how it is affecting ME.

I get up, get myself ready, and get Tyler ready. Usually, this routine ends with chaos. I REALLY need to get up about 30 minutes earlier but have not achieved that yet. Once I get him to school (just in the neck of time), I cruise on to work. ALL of that to say that there is no longer time for morning jogs! Even if I got up early, I couldn't leave Tylerman alone in the house while I go run the streets of Leesburg (OBVIOUSLY).

I work 8 - 10 hours a day at our local newspaper and make a mad dash afterward to get Tyler before aftercare closes at 6. For a while we would head straight to the gym after I picked him up. I would already have my gym clothes on since I changed at work. That was short-lived. He decided at some point that he once again did not like the gym, and it just became too much of a battle. I would make it a couple times a week if my mom picked him up for me.

So, my exercise dwindled to almost nothing, and my diet was intermittently healthy. THEN CAME THE HOLIDAYS!!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!! Even through all the trials of last year, I had somehow managed to stay in the 151-157 range. I weighed in October and was about 157. Then Halloween happened. Then Thanksgiving happened. Then Christmas happened. In between all of these holidays, I was just eating however I wished. My thought was, "Hey, I've maintained THUS far ... my body must be conditioned to maintain this weight range ... a little fun won't hurt." WRONG WRONG WRONG!! I did not step back on the scale until January or February of 2016, and to my horror, when I finally got the courage up, 167 popped up on that cruel digital screen. I felt absolutely defeated. I want SO badly to just be able to indulge when I feel like it, but it appears that it is just not in the cards.

I spent most of January and February barely exercising and beginning to reign in my out of control binge eating a LITTLE. It is now mid-March. Jamie and I have created a home gym in our garage, so the only issue is finding time to use it. Once I get home with Tyler around 6, it is usually non-stop until his bedtime. Cooking dinner ... cleaning up a bit ... catering to his needs AND wants ... My only solution is to exercise for an hour RIGHT when we get home to get it done and out of the way. Otherwise, I'm in there at 10 o'clock with barely any energy. I've systematically cleaned up my diet. I allow myself some treats on the weekend, but I feel like that may have to stop. I'm watching carbs. I'm watching sugar. I'm counting calories. I'm getting back on a regular exercise routine.

After about a week and a half of my newly turned over leaf (last Sunday), I decided to jump on the scale to see if my weight had budged at all in the downward direction. To my absolute horror, the screen flashed 170!! I texted my husband immediately with a 'what gives?!' type of message. He replies that my muscles are probably holding water because I worked out the night before, which I hope is the case. Today, I'm 170.2. Am I still retaining water? Why is my weight going UP UP UP? I can't even explain the frustration. I worked my butt off to go from the 200's to 155, and I feel like I've lost all control. I'm trying to get it down and it is going up??? I know some folks say that you shouldn't go by the scale, but I ignored my scale for two months and 10-12 pounds crept on. I ignored my scale some more, and my weight went up more. My clothes are tight. I'm uncomfortable. I'm unhappy.

I needed to type this out as a way to vent. All I can do is exercise more and become strict with my diet. Hopefully, this will be enough to get back to 155 before beach season. Anything more will just be cake ... but I won't eat it. Apparently, it is dangerous to become complacent and to take for granted all of the work it takes to lose/maintain a healthy weight.

On another note, in amongst all of this hullabaloo, I've been concerned about my overall health. I'm tired ALL OF THE TIME. I mentioned it to my doctor at my yearly exam, but he claimed that it was just my busy lifestyle. I've also been having lightheadedness once again. I stand up and nearly black out. My fingernails have started cracking and peeling near the base. I've begun taking multiple supplements and vitamins to try to help with all of this. I think I'll be tired for the rest of my life.

Anyway, here is a sample of my meals this week for future reference (about 1200 calories):

Breakfast: Coffee
Snack: Cheese Stick
Lunch: Tuna, pickle, greek yogurt, blueberries
Snack: Organic Fruit Squeeze
Dinner: Shrimp & Quinoa or Cod & a Salad (protein and veggies)

It's Been a Minute...

I haven't updated my blog in quite a while.  My weight hasn't changed.  I did have a couple weeks where it shot up 5 pounds back in February, but I've managed to tame the beast.  I can't seem to get past 155.  The lowest I've been was 151 when I had a stomach bug a while back...not my recommended weightloss method.  Toward the end of January and into February, I started allowing myself too much freedom with food and had stopped exercising for the most part. Becoming full-time at work plus freelance work has really put a damper on my exercise/energy. Since March started, I've been back at the gym twice a week, and I'm trying to be active when I can in my day-to-day life.  I've been having the same breakfast and lunch for the past couple weeks, and it seems to be working for me.  I'm satisfied, and the food is tasty:

Breakfast: 2 Kashi Whole Grain Waffles with whipped berry cream cheese, coffee w/creamer
Lunch: Tomato/cucumber/spinach sandwich with 2 wedges of Laughing Cow spreadable cheese, Light and Fit Cherry greek yogurt, blackberries (sometimes)

Jamie and I have been working to keep our dinners lower in carbs during the week.  I did try the low/no carb diet again the week prior to the above menu, and dropped 3 pounds.  But, it came right back on during the weekend.  The first week of the above menu, I dropped the same 3 pounds, and it stayed off.  I think I'll stick with the sane diet versus the low/no carb.  I just don't like meat enough to survive that way.

My new goals are to get back to jogging, since I've not been at it as much this year AND to get to my 140/145 goal weight.  Ten pounds doesn't sound like a difficult task, but you'd be amazed at how much effort it takes once you get closer to your target weight!

BIG Before and After

I came across a photo today that had somehow become linked to my youtube/google account. Now, I had deleted this photo completely from my computer after I saw it the first time because it made me cry.  Now, seeing it a few years later still makes me want to cry.  Then, it was because I had gotten so big and felt like I couldn't change that ... Now, it is partly because I let myself get that out of control and partly that I've come so far from where I was in that picture. The photos was taken probably in 2009 or 2010 at a friend's wedding.  This was long before my pregnancy, so it had nothing to do with baby weight. I have to remind myself daily that I DO NOT want to go back to that ever again. It helps me stay on track and avoid doing things that will cause me to gain and gain and gain.  I haven't reached my goal yet, but 154 isn't terrible ... just 14 pounds til goal!

155 and Holding

Back in April of this year (2014), a friend advised me to stop jogging (because it was supposedly slowing my weightloss) and to go low carb ... among other things.  In desperation, I did everything he said for about 6 weeks, and I managed to drop 8 pounds in the first couple weeks (didn't lose anymore after that ... the diet is just too strict and difficult to maintain).  I've kept those pounds off for the most part (except for the occasional fluctuation due to water and such), BUT I have dropped the low carb diet AND have gone back to jogging (Couch to 5k app for the win!).  I haven't gone carb crazy, but I have been a bit more lenient about what I'll allow myself to eat.  Even so, I am having a HUGE problem getting in enough calories, and I'm really afraid this is going to stunt my progress. I recently adjusted myfitnesspal ... it bumped it from 1200 to 1500, but on many days I top out between 700 - 900 calories AND I'm exercising every morning ... so there is that added deficit ... which I never add back to my "allowed calories."

I think I've trained myself to be afraid of most foods, and I'm having a hard time deciding what is okay to eat. I've been avoiding fruit because of all the sugar ... avoiding most REAL sugar, period ... been trying to stay away from high carb things like bread, cereal, pasta, rice, etc. ... basically, it has gotten down to just eating meat and vegetables with a bit of cheese and low carb flatbread here and there.

I quit the low carb diet because I felt like I was starving all the time, but I STILL feel like I'm starving.  This week I've been having a Publix Premium salad kit and a Light and Fit Greek Yogurt for lunch, and it just doesn't hold me very long ... maybe 2 hours if I'm lucky. I would just do flatbread sandwiches, but I've developed a fear of the sodium and nitrates in deli meat.  I was also just told that my sandwich cheese was absolute crap for my body.  AHHH!!!

Sooooo, I've been stalled out at 155 for a few months and am ready to just throw out my bathroom scale. I HAVE reached my goal pant size, which was 10.  I've also managed to buy a couple 8's and a couple of 6's ... not too shabby!

I'll keep working on the fitness aspect and continue to try to get my eating right. I am still having to try to reign myself in on the weekends, which doesn't always go well.  I'm definitely not an athlete who just eats to perform ... I loves me some food!

Here's a picture from yesterday:

100th Post AND Awesome News

This is my 100th weight loss post, and it comes at a great time.  After being stuck between 163-167 for 6 months, I've finally broke through the plateau! This morning I weighed in at 157, so I feel like I'm solidly in the 150's and on my way down. When I hit 159 earlier this week, that marked a 50 pound loss since my highest non-pregnancy weight.  (Well, that I can remember ... Jamie says that I was higher than that at one point ... like 212 or 215 ... I just can't remember.) Either way, I've lost more than 50 pounds, which is hard to put into perspective. I feel like the same person, but when you start thinking about how heavy 50 pounds is, it's hard to imagine carrying that much extra around. I slapped on a pair of size 10 jeans at Old Navy and just about cried. I'm wearing medium shirts (except in those teeny tiny junior sizes).  The jeans I'm currently sitting in are a size 11 from Rue 21 (a teen store)...WHAT?!?!

Anyway, how did I break the plateau?

Last Sunday, we had dinner with Jamie's good friend (well, he's my friend too...haha).  His degree revolves around fitness, he's been a personal trainer, and now he's pursuing a degree in the medical field.  He has studied how the body loses fat and builds muscle extensively.  All that being said, I went to him for advice because I was tired of being stuck.  Here is what he told me to do:

STOP running, walk for 30 minutes instead
STOP eating breakfast, your body doesn't need it ... just have your morning coffee ... period.
Cut most carbs out of your diet for a while ... just eat meat and vegetables ... NO fruit

Now, I usually halfway listen to advice like this and later shrug it off. I've tried low carb before and only lasted a day.  I was a teenager when I tried it the first time. BUT, I just happened to have a container full of leftover hamburgers at home, so I already had the fixin's for low carby-ness. I thought, "I'm going to try this ONE MORE TIME." So, here I am, a week into doing what he told me, and I've lost 6 pounds.  SIX POUNDS IN ONE WEEK ... SIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!!!

TO ALL NEGATIVE NANCIES:

Now, I know there are naysayers who will poopoo all over what I'm doing, but just know that the extreme low carb will only be for a month.  After that, I will work to maintain my goal weight once I get there.  I don't feel that I'm doing anything harmful to my body at all. I'm having moderate servings of meat and large servings of vegetables.  I understand not eating fruit ... it just has SO much sugar.  Besides, who decided to make it a requirement to eat fruit? I think that's a dumb rule.

If you want to tell me, "You're going to gain all the weight back when you get off the low carb diet," then save your breath. I've heard this and said this a million times, but what I am currently doing is working for me. Until I reach my goal weight, I will do what is necessary. I refuse to be one of those chicks who is constantly starving themselves.

"But, what about your kidneys, Jennifer?" Trust me ... I've done plenty of reading up on low carb diets. I know there can be side effects if you do it in a stupid way.  I'm not munching on bacon and pork rinds over here though. I'm having lean meats and healthy vegetables.  I've upped my liquid intake to keep my kidneys flushed out and happy.

"You're just losing water weight." ... I've heard this one a few times.  Sure, some of the loss is more than likely from water weight loss, but do you really want to be retaining water anyway?  If I've lost 6 pounds of water weight this week, then so be it. I don't want to carry around 6 extra pounds of unneeded water weight.

My friend told me, "You have to eat fat to lose fat." Now, there's a complicated sciencey explanation for why this is so, and he did explain it to me, but there is no way I could repeat it ... I work at a newspaper, not a laboratory.

I think that covers all of the negative stuff I've been faced with just this week. Try it or don't try it. Like it or don't like it. You do you, and I'll do me. I shall carry on until I get to my goal or stop seeing results. At either point, I'm going to have to make a lifestyle change either to kickstart weightloss again or to maintain weightloss.

TALLY-HO!!!

Feelin' Good About Myself Today SO Here's a Pic ;)

Kinda Sorta Before and After

I didn't actually think to take "before" pictures when I first started in the low 200's.  This "before" pic is actually after I had lost 15 pounds. The "after" is current.  I put 163, but I haven't weighed myself in about a month, so it could be lower. About 25 more pounds to go ... then I'll have some REAL "after" pix!

40 pounds side

40 pounds

Progress Pix - Jan 2014

I don't know my current weight because of my scale boycott, but the pants are a size 12 and the top is a medium ... both from the misses dept.  The mirror provided a sort of odd angle, but you get the idea ... right? Still working on that gut with the 30 Day Ab Challenge.  My stomach is my worst enemy!

Looking Back on the Journey Thus Far

Last night I pulled out my handwritten weight loss journal.  I really just used it to write down my weekly measurements.  I've gone from the low 200's to the low 160's (and dropping), so that makes me happy! I had written down my hip and waist measurements a few times throughout the year.  The first recording was in March of 2013.  My hips were 47" and my waist was 35".  I'm proud to say that I have dropped SIX inches off my hips and FOUR inches off my waist since then.

At the beginning of the year (2014), I decided to not weigh myself until mid-February since my daddy's passing and a lot of emotional eating had gotten me off track.  During the months of November and December, I was so down and depressed that I just didn't care about eating well all the time or getting to the gym. As the new year came into view, I decided that my daddy would not want me to give up on what I've worked so hard to achieve thus far, so I got my butt back to the gym at the beginning of January.  I've been eating right again and treating myself a bit ONLY on the weekend.

I still haven't weighed myself, and I don't plan to do so until I can feel a difference. It's easy to let the scale determine how good you are going to feel all day, and the scale is not always an accurate measure of progress (as my BFF, Sarah, reminded me a few days ago). I had gotten into a bad habit of weighing myself almost every morning and getting incredibly upset if the number had gone up at all.  There are so many factors that can cause an increase, and most of them are unrelated to gaining actual fat.

I'm currently in a size 12 and a Medium, which isn't tiny or huge.  I feel okay where I'm at, but I know I have more to achieve. My goal from the start was to get to a 9 or 10, which is what I wore at my smallest (and I was pretty thin then ... 125ish).  I'm only a size-ish away from my goal, which is promising.  My weight is probably around 163, but I know I've developed a lot of muscle and dropped a ton of fat (40 pounds gone ... that's more than my toddler weighs!!!). It's possible to get to my goal size without ever making it to my goal weight, but I will still shoot for 140. I don't LOVE putting all these numbers out there for everyone to see, but if it helps someone else get motivated to lose or inspires anyone, I guess it is worth it. Hopefully, you are reading this because you care about me and would never judge me by a number anyway.  I'm content where I'm at, but I don't plan to stay here! Onward and upward ... or downward as it would be!

(NOTE TO SELF: MUST UPLOAD NEW AFTER PIX!)

Weigh In Wednesday - Should I make this a thing?

This was an old blog that never got published somehow ... I'm now at 163 ... PHEW! :

Down to 192.6 today ... crazy thing is ... I haven't been to the gym in a week and a half ... go figure.  I was told by a trainer friend that my main concern should be my diet and not so much the overly intense exercise.  So...I'm not supposed to have carbs after 6 pm ... which seems crazy ... but I'll try anything once to lose weight (except the crazy diets like grapefruit or cottage cheese BLECK!).  OH, I'm also supposed to eat a better breakfast with protein in it.  But I'm happy with the weight ... I ALMOST made my October goal, which was to get to 190 or 189.  As long as I'm lookin' foxy by next May-ish :D

BACK TO THE GYM TONIGHT ... CRAMPS OR NO CRAMPS!!!

Grief and Weight Loss/Gain

The week my daddy died suddenly, I reached a 40 pound weight loss.  Part of the weight drop was probably due to how grief stricken I was.  It was unexpected and untimely, and I was having a hard time eating or sleeping.  Since then, I gained 5 pounds and then lost 2.  I've been to the gym twice since this horrible life event occurred.  Right now, I just cannot find the drive or motivation to get back at it.  Should I give myself to the new year?  The day before he died, I had just told dad that I was taking the week off from the gym because I was sick again.  I've been fighting cold symptoms off and on since I ran my first 5k at the end of October.  I'm so glad that my dad was alive to see me trying to get healthy and achieving goals. I don't know when I'll feel up to getting back into the gym, but I don't think my weight is going to go downward anymore until I start exercising again. Right now I'm just working to not gain weight.

20 to 25 pounds to go ... anything after that is just icing on the cake.

30.4 Pounds Gone!

I weighed in over the weekend at 173.6, which puts me at just over 30 pounds lost.  It has been a struggle for sure!  I still have about 30 more pounds to go to get to my ultimate goal, so that puts a bit of a damper on things.  I'm hoping to be in the 140's or 150's by December.  I'm not sure if I should go out and buy any size 14 pants because 12 isn't that far away.  In fact, I have a couple 12's that fit now.  Onward and upward ... or downward as it would be.

179 Body Pix - 25 pounds lost

Here are some pix for my eventual BEFORE and AFTER collage:

25 Pounds Gone!

Yes, 25 of my fatty-fat pounds are gone, and I hope I never see them again!  I've dropped 2 pants sizes and 2 shirt sizes!  BMI charts still consider me "overweight" at this point, so it's a good thing that I think BMI charts are totally bogus.  My goal weight does happen to fall into their "normal" category, but that is totally coincidental.  I wanted to post myfitnesspal's line graph of my progress this year. 

It's been slow and gradual ... and somewhat maddening.  There have been points when I've felt like I was going to absolutely go bananas. I have about 35 more pounds to go.  My bestie (hi, Sarah!) and I have both agreed that we'd like to be down 20 more pounds by the end of October (that's about 3 months to do so ... 6.7 pounds per month ... 1.6-ish pounds per week).  It is possible, but I'm gonna have to really be on my game! 

Get Back on the Wagon!

I almost fell completely off the weight-loss wagon.  I guess you could say that I was holding on with one hand and being drug behind it.  About a month ago my toddler and I both got the creeping crud and were away from the gym for basically two weeks.  Upon trying to return, he gave me all kinds of grief.  He cries at the mention of going to the gym, so imagine how hard it is to get him into the car to actually go.  Anyway, that situation and a mountain of other stress built and built for weeks until I started having that "screw it" attitude.  I was still eating a healthy breakfast and lunch, but dinner was slowly getting crappier and crappier.  Then, a couple weeks ago, I went to dinner with my parents and Tyler as usual, but instead of ordering a salad I ordered a chicken sammich ... we's talkin' fried  chicken.  THEN, the next day I went back to the same place and had another one (with fries both times).  Thus began my downward spiral into "LETSEATANYTHINGANDWHATEVERWEWANTSville" ...

I could go into the numerous food sins I committed over the past month, but I will just say that I am officially back on the wagon ... I'm SO on the wagon that I could be driving the wagon.  Exercise will now be 5 times a week whether it is light or heavy ... Calories will be kept around 1200 and will come from healthy sources.  I'm not going "low carb" per se, but I am trying to limit the intake of said carbs.  Lots of fruits and vegetables and lean meat.  It's not easy for sure!  Eating what I want all the time is easy and delicious, BUT it will also keep me overweight and unhappy in the long run.  We aren't having our usual YUM-YUMfest this weekend like we usually do.  If we go out to eat, I will just have to find something healthy to feed my face...

grumble grumble grumble grumble sigh.

This Little Piggy Went to Crazytown

Well, I am down two pant sizes since I started these shenanigans in February of this year (from size 18 to size 14).  It's been almost four months, and I'm down ALMOST 20 pounds.  I think I've pushed passed my last plateau and come to a new one.  My weight over the weekend was 186.8, but it jumped back to 188.8 this morning.  That could be water weight or something of the sort ... who can really tell.  I ate relatively crappy over the weekend, but I don't know if it is possible to gain two pounds in two days ... not two pounds of fat at least.

My food sins over the weekend included a Mexican buffet (portion control goes out the window when I'm faced with a buffet), a HUGE cereal bowl of Caramel Turtle Cheesecake ice cream, a 6" Italian BMT and cookie from Subway, tacos made at home (probably not THAT sinful ... I only had two), and Zataran's Dirty rice (although it WAS prepared at home with very lean beef).  The point being that I know I went far beyond my usual 1200 - 1500 calories each day.

I guess I need to work on reigning it in on the weekends.  I eat SO healthily during the week that I'm SO ready to be a piggy on the weekend.  Is it better to indulge yourself on the weekends, so you don't absolutely lose your mind ... or should I go through the rest of my life never enjoying the occasional treat?  Quite the conundrum ...  I'll just work on keeping my "treating" under control.

The Sad Side View

...here it is...blarg