IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! (14/16)

I'm officially 26. I headed to the gym last night. Got on the elliptical for 20 minutes and the treadmill for 10. I was not in the best mood last night. The thought of how long and hard this journey is going to be is so stressful. BUT, I also realized last night that if I don't do something then it will only get worse. There are mirrors on all the walls in the gym, and I had to see the most horrible angle of myself while on the elliptical ... that sort of sideways/diagonal view ... not flattering. It's just so frustrating that I'm bigger than I've ever been in my life, and I don't need Mr. Mirror reminding me how far I have to go. I did put a sticker on my calendar to congratulate myself for going. That helps some...having a visual representation of what you have done...with preschool stickers...hehe. I'm going to try to go to the grocery store tomorrow, so we avoid eating out on New Year's day. I've made a list of good things to eat. I'm still stumped on what to do for snacks because I know I won't eat carrots if I buy them, and I know I probably shouldn't eat a ton of fruit since it's so sugary. GO AWAY BELLY!

New Year, New Me (size 14/16)

I feel like all I ever do is TALK about losing weight. Jamie and I are NOT moving, and we did NOT get back on track with our food after Thanksgiving. I've only eaten more and gained more. My work pants are sooooooo TIGHT!! I've once again resolved to lose weight for my annual beach trip. The trip usually falls somewhere in May, so that gives me 5-ish months to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING...I'm on my own now...nobody is going to help me...Jamie only helps me GAIN weight. I hate to set myself up for failure, so I'm just going to hope that is not the case. I originally thought that I would try to lose 10 pounds a month, but I don't know how realistic that is. My short term goal is to be down a pants size by February. I don't weigh myself, so I think I'll start posting my current size in the title of each blog. Tomorrow is my birthday, so I DO plan on having a slab-o-cake. January 1st is THE day!!! No more excuses!!! Weight is something that is totally within my control, but I seem to have the hardest time grasping it. I've already given up sodas. I haven't had one in about 20 days, so I think the urge has all but left. My next major goal as far as beverages are concerned is to switch from Sweet Tea to Unsweet Tea with Splenda. My exercise plan right now is to just do SOMETHING, ANYTHING!!! My ideas on food are just to eliminated extra sugar and processed junk. Right now my grocery list inclueds oatmeal, fruit, salad, whole grain bread, turkey, and whatever else I need to keep around to stay sane. SO...here goes nothing...AGAIN!

WANTED: Will Power

Well, I was going strong with the exercise with Sarah until I came down with a cold and missed 2 days of work. Then, as soon as I was well, she had 4 art shows in 1 week. AND this week I am getting sick AGAIN. I swear I've had no immune system since I've moved to Atlanta in 2006. The food still hasn't gotten on track because Jamie and I keep putting it off. We are waiting to see if we are going to move or not. We still haven't gotten an answer on that, and we seem to be getting more and more lazy, depressed and lethargic. I'm so beyond frustrated. The only thing I seem to be consistant at is failure. I'm such a Negative Nancy...bah humbug... Anyway, ONCE AGAIN, I told Jamie that our diet is going to drastically change once we get back from Thanksgiving. I'm also going to have to try to wean myself off soda again. Why are all the tasty things so BAD for you...whyyyyyyy?!?! Grrg! Let's just hope that we get some news soon, so I can get settled into a new place and get on a new routine. One of the youtube people I watch has been on a raw food diet for 18 days and has lost 18 pounds...That may be too extreme for me. Can someone just donate some WILL POWER to me??? HELP!

Changes

Well, the Crossfit gym is no more...There just became too many issues there, and I wasn't happy anymore. So, to celebrate I did nothing for about a month and managed to gain 10 more pounds. Congratulations Jen...you are great at getting fatter!! GRRR! I'm just so frustrated!! Anyway, I'm finally trying to get back on track on my own...just eating better and doing my own exercise. Eating right seems to be the hardest factor to adjust. We go out to eat anywhere from 2 to 10 times a week...I can't even imagine how many extra calories that adds...we NEED to get the food thing right...but we seem to both be junk food junkies...Anyway, I think I may start bringing my own lunch next week. That should save calories and money. Dinner is a different story...I still don't know what to do about that...maybe stop being a lazy bum in the evenings....going to the gym again this week with Sarah...One good habit at a time I guess. Next week we'll tackle food for the umpteenth time in my life... SIGH! I read that I'm supposed to stay positive while trying to lose weight...HOW THE HECK DO YOU DO THAT?!?!? Bah humbug, I say!

OH...MY...GAH!

My ab muscles have never been so sore...I'd love to be stretched out on the couch right now instead of sitting at my desk at work. OH THE PAIN...THE HORROR... We did ALOT of ab stuff this week...Wednesday was 150 situps among other things...then yesterday was 75 Wallballs, 50 Knees to Elbow, and a 1000 meter row. Everything was doubly hard yesterday cuz my muscles were SO sore from Wednesday. We will probably go today since we are trying to do 3 days on and 1 day off, but I dont know how well its gonna go...OUCH! With all this pain you'd think I wouldve dropped some weight by now...oh well...we must muscle on...

Don't Stop Til Ya Get Enough

Well, yet another oh-so-attractive picture of me is up on the website. I tell ya...I CANNOT wait to start dropping some of this weight. I had tossed the idea of possibly starting back to jogging to help my weight loss along, BUT that would mean getting up at 6 am...I don't know if I want to be thin THAT bad. I'm such a lazy bum. Today's workout was a good one though...we worked on some weight lifting mixed up with a ton of ab work. OH, and I jogged the warmup jog with NO WALKING. Yay me! I definetly think I'm getting stronger...I just want to SEE some results in the mirror..it's frustrating...My ultimate short term goal is to be bathing suit ready for next summer, so I'll just try to keep that in mind. I'm posting a pic from last week. Jason is showing us some technique ... and Jamie and I are staring in amazement...haha

My Head May Explode

I've been having horrible headaches off and on since the end of college, and it is really starting to effect every aspect of my life...including the gym. One day last week we worked on squats and perfecting our form. I already had a headache before I went in, and by the time i was finished I was on the floor trying not to pass out from the pain. Obviously, I'm going to have to get these checked out because they tend to last for days on end, and I really don't want to miss gym time because of a headache. Anyhoot, Jamie and I went down to Albany to visit family last thurs. through sunday, so we are trying to get back into the swing this week. We are going to try doing like the Crossfit headquarters does and have 3 days on and one day off. So, we are going to have to do some workouts at the house on the weekend. Jamie is going to make a pullup bar to hang from the ceiling, and my dad already built us a jumping box over the weekend. We are slowly creating a bit of an at home gym. I'm posting a picture of a workout last week when we were doing box jumps. I used the taller box, so I was proud of myself (even though i busted my booty on the last jump). OH, we've also decided to still do Paleo somewhat but to mainly focus on just eating healthy and not eating out.

My Boyfriend's Back...

Well, my husband is back from Pittsburgh...WOOHOO...I managed to stick to the Paleo diet for the first 3 days of the week, but once I ran out of groceries Pizza Hut got a phone call...OOPS! Anyhoot, Jamie is back, so the whole diet thing should get back on track. We're going to try to tweak it a bit, so it doesn't cost us quite as much as it has been. I went twice last week to Crossfit...mostly because I REALLY REALLY did not want to go alone, and also, because our trainer seems to be in some sort of mood that is not helping to encourage me. So, we will be going Mon-Wed this week coming up, and then, we are heading home Thurs-Sun to visit family. I've had several people complimenting me on looking like I've lost some weight, but I really don't see it yet. Well, we will keep working at it and try to chip away the chub slowly. I'm going to put an ucky picture of me doing the warmup for Thursday's workout. The actual workout KILLED my thighs...they are STILL sore and are also the reason I didn't get to do Saturday's workout which I actually WANTED to do...sigh...I definitely strained the muscles because they were sore to the touch...OUCH! That is what 150 air squats, 30 medicine ball cleans, and 84 jumping pullups (in 20 minutes) will get ya...ohhhhh the paaaain..the horror!!! HA! I'm just hoping for a change SOON!

Blah Syndrome

I have come to a point where I'm starting to feel unmotivated for several reasons. The diet is stressing me out and I'm having to force myself to go to the gym. This always happens ... I start working really hard ... then I don't see the results I want to see, and my morale goes into the toilet. Yesterday, I went to the gym by myself since Jamie is in Pittsburgh, and someone that I considered significantly larger than me said that she and I were "on the same level." Of course my heart hit the floor. How could I let myself get this big?? I just feel like it is never gonna come off. Oh, and it kind of hurt my feelings the other day when the trainer wasn't going to time me on my workout like he did everyone else. Anyway, these feelings have been building and building inside of me...and I can't even express it all here...but I just saw a picture of me and Jamie, and it made me feel even worse. I gotta get out of this funk...It will never go away if I don't MAKE it go away. Anyway, I think next week I need to work on exercising more...and really trying to change my diet...I'm starting to question if Paleo is right for me...counting calories seemed better to me...anyway, I'm gonna give my YOU ON A DIET book another look... THE END

It's been about a month...

...and I haven't seen much results...I know I'm just being impatient. I think I am getting better at some things. On the first day I could barely jump rope, and now I can hippity hop that rope pretty good. I turned in a list of goals and a sample of my diet to our trainer, and I'm interested to see what he thinks. Here is a pic of me on our Lockdown day ... he had it 100 degrees in the gym... it was tough! (I'm on the rowing machine in the background)

My Booboo :)

My sweet husband doing a workout with me!

My Team :)

I just wanted to put a picture up of a portion of my Crossfit team...everyone is so nice and encouraging...just what I need!!

HAHA

Well...there is yet another picture up of me...I'm hoping these are going to be good BEFORE pictures in a few months or a year or so...Kinda hurt my knee on Tuesday, so I'm gonna try back today and see if I can make it through the workout ok...I've gotta get my 3 days in, or I will feel like La PooPoo... If I can still walk, I might go in on Saturday morning also...

Too Many Visuals...

Our trainer keeps posting videos and pictures of us working out...I'd be stoked to see myself on the website, but, right now, each time I see a full picture of myself I get so sad. I hardly recognize myself...In my head I'm still a small 16 year old...I know this is a long road, but it is also a bumpy road. It's only been a couple weeks...we just started the diet thing...I haven't lost anything yet...I'm just hoping that by the end of August something will have happened because I am working SO hard...I want to exercise at a normal level like everyone else...I don't want to have special modifications...I just hope by this time next year I'm still going strong and can be encouragement for people that are overweight like I currently am.... SIGH (Here is a video of our workout warmup also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_msy8li-Ks )

Moving On...Crossfit

Well, I found very quickly that workout dvds ARE NOT for me! I got bored really quickly and stopped doing them...I'm thinking of selling our Power 90 set...Anyhoot, as of 6/29/09, Jamie and I are official members of a Crossfit gym. The workouts are tough BUT the workouts are done in small groups which majorly helps me. Usually, when i step into a gym I go straight for the cardio machines because that is all I know. At this place...the owner has been working with my husband and I on how to do exercises...he is very patient and helpful. It also helps that we are paying to go to this gym...the money factor motivates me because I don't want to just flush it away...If I'm paying for something, then I NEED to use it...and now we are locked in for a year SO I'm going to try my hardest to stay dedicated and motivated...SIGNING OFF!

30 Day Shred - Day 1

I did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred for the first time last night...OUCH...I thought I was going to be able to get through that DVD and THEN go for a walk. NO WAY!!! That is one tough workout! Everything is really fast paced, and she combines leg and arm movements. I made it through the workout but not without taking tiny breaks from time to time. The basic idea of the workout is that you combine cardio, strength training, and abs all into one quick 20 minute workout. It was hard, but it didn't drag on and on like Power 90 seems to. I'm sure Power 90 is great if you have the patience for it. The Shred DVD has 3 different workouts on it, and you switch up every 10 days or so. I might try to speed that process along if I can because of the upcoming beach trip, but I'm not going to kill myself trying to do that. If I can, I will...If not, I'll just continue it after my beach trip. Hopefully, I will have a few beach trips this summer. I hope to not lose motivation. That is what I'm worst at...staying motivated/positive...especially when I catch a glimpse of something in the mirror I don't like. My husband isn't a ton of help...as a matter of fact...he ate a bunch of fried chicken tenders and mac & cheese in front of me just yesterday. I think part of the reason I've gotten to the weight that I am is because I've given in to eating like a guy so much...its hard to live with somebody and not pick up their carefree food habits. *SIGH* 1200 calories for Jen...9 million for the hubby...NO FAIR!

The first step is the hardest...

I've been struggling with my weight off and on for as long as I can remember. There was a short period of time in which I was 125 pounds (I'm 5'4" by the way.), but that was in high school. Even when I was that size, I still thought I was a fatty...so I obviously have some body issues. Anywho, I'm 25 now, and I have a beach trip coming up in 3 weeks. OH NO!!! BATHING SUIT!!!! So, I'm on a mission to start my weight loss, and hopefully stick with it long term. I'm the queen of on again, off again dieting. To start with my mom and I created a list of rules and have started keeping food journals. The hard part is not so much the eating better BUT the exercise. I have everything I need to get fit at my fingertips, but I just cannot get motivated. I've been doing Power 90 for a couple weeks, and I already hate that...too boring...SO...I'm going to give the 30 Day Shred a try for a couple weeks. If I like it, then I will keep at that. Otherwise, I'm going to have to come up with something else...HERE WE GO!